lahermite: (loisaida)
many of us here cut ourselves. still. even knowing how dangerous it is. many of us here are addicted to drugs. continuing to use them even though we know they can kill us. some of us sleep around. fucking people without protection, risking all sorts of problems from disease, death, pregnancy. some of us drive like maniacs, risking our own lives and the lives of others. speed and danger junkies. some of us still judge others for their self-destructive behaviours, while denying our own. some of us are allergic to stuff that we continue to put in our bodies. unable to stop the consumption that harms us so terribly.

all of us are addicted to civilization. to a way of life that is, ultimately, destroying life as we know it on the planet, our only home.

why do we self-destruct? why do we risk destroying others as well as ourselves? why, with all our wisdom and smarts, are we unable to stop doing things we know to be wrong?

why do you do what you do? why do i do what i do?

a friend left a t-shirt behind that has a picture of james dean on it and the slogan underneath, "mrs dean". but why? why would someone want to be married to a man who epitomized the "live fast, die young, leave a good looking corpse" mentality? when i worked for lincare, the biggest complaint i heard was from the people who took the breathing machines to people's homes. "these idiots can't breathe but they're still smoking. they keep their ashtrays on top of their oxygen tanks....."

what is it with humanity's self-destructive hedonism?

is it that life has become so "easy" that we have to invent danger?

i think hedonism is probably a natural state. an animal state. a way of being without this so called higher brain activity. without the watcher. but we do have these so called higher brain activities, and yet they seem unable to stop us following our primal natures. do what you will and to hell with the consequences.

i'm a self-destructive hedonist. obviously. i've engaged in unsafe sex (practically my whole adult life). i do drugs even though they could kill me. i eat too much. i drive too far and too fast too often. i've been a participant in infidelity and i'm not even sure that's such a bad thing. i've cut myself. to the bone, barely missing a major artery. i drink far too much alcohol. i smoke pot, even though its illegal. even though i've recently had breathing problems so severe i have to have an inhaler. i got pierced by a junkie. twice.

life is short. live fast. die young. leave a good looking corpse. life's too short for regrets and misery. be bold. live life fully.

whatever.

please share your thoughts here. enter into dialogue with others. what is it with some people's self-destruction?

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lahermite

November 2011

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